Back to Social Anxiety and Dating

CBT Exercises for Social Anxiety in Dating

CBT exercises for social anxiety are practical, evidence-based tools you can use daily. Thought records capture and reframe anxious thoughts. Exposure hierarchy structures gradual facing of fears. Behavioral experiments test predictions against reality. This guide walks through each exercise with dating-specific examples. ConfidenceConnect integrates these exercises into a structured app format.

  • Thought records reduce anxiety by 25-35% in CBT trials
  • Exposure hierarchy is gold-standard for anxiety disorders
  • Behavioral experiments provide most convincing evidence for change

Thought Record Exercise for Dating Anxiety

Capture: Situation (e.g., 'About to message a match'), Automatic thought ('She'll think my message is lame'), Emotion (anxiety, 8/10), Evidence for/against, Balanced alternative ('I can't know what she'll think; my message is genuine'). Writing creates cognitive distance and opens space for reframing. Do this whenever dating anxiety spikes.

Exposure Hierarchy Exercise

List 10 dating-related situations, rate each 0-10 (SUDS), order from lowest to highest. Start with the lowest. Practice until anxiety drops 50%+, then move up. Example ladder: (2) Look at dating app, (4) Message a match, (5) Video call, (6) Coffee date, (8) Ask someone out in person.

Behavioral Experiment Exercise

Identify a prediction: 'If I message her, she'll think I'm desperate.' Design an experiment: message 3 matches with genuine openers. Record outcomes: Did they respond? What happened? Compare to prediction. Often, the feared outcome doesn't occur. Use results to update your beliefs.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should I do these exercises?
Thought records: whenever anxiety spikes. Exposure: 2-4 times per week, progressing through hierarchy. Behavioral experiments: 1-2 per week. Consistency matters more than volume.
What if exercises don't reduce my anxiety?
If you've practiced consistently for 8+ weeks with no improvement, consider working with a therapist. They can troubleshoot (e.g., exposure too fast, cognitive work incomplete) and tailor the approach.

Related Articles

From the Blog